Walking down an abandoned path, I walk past that diabolic scorpion. With not a fold on my face; acting to be brave and pretending to have no fear. But my heart pounded; at every step, I take in the vicinity. Was it going to follow me? Was it going to sprint and sting me? I did not know. However, I walked. Like I would lose my face if I became fearful of what I did fear!

I contemplate on my way about my hidden heart. Of why I was so pretentious of such a silly thing, even when nobody was looking. Had my heart grown so conscious? Had my heart forgotten to be what it is? Whatever it was; that scorpion put me in a fix of what to think about myself. I saw myself turning into somebody who couldn’t articulate what I felt, what I sensed, what I feared! Such shame. Such huge shame.

I continued walking on that trodden path. After a while, I reached a meadow. A lush green pasture. A little smile was born at my lips when the wind breezed through my hair. I felt home for the first time in a long while. I didn’t realize it first; but as every second past, this place started making me its own. As I explored to find the end of this pasture; each step gave me a new reason to feel something new, and show it on my face just how I felt it. I started liking being there. After just a few hours; when the sun started dimming its glory for the day; I knew I had to return to the world where I had come from. Where my heart didn’t know to be. Where my life had become the slave to monotony.

But the rebel that my heart was, led me to that same meadow the next day as well. I still did not really know why. But I went there every time a got a chance to. The joy it brought to my heart was addictive. I did not care what the world told me about this place. “It would consume you!” “Isn’t that place your little secret?” “You must be crazy to believe in that kind of a happiness”. All of this I did not give ear to. I saw nothing else but the new found me. My renewed heart when I went there; my smiling face that the rest of the world hardly saw. And it slowly started to consume me. I had two worlds. One which I was bound to be a part of and the other where I breathed. Life became a little easy. For every unhappy occurrence; I would find solace in my happy place. The thought of it would help me forget the worries or would assure me that I would be fine again. Once after a fulfilling day at the meadow that I had started calling ‘Yudibu’; on my way back, I saw a little girl walk towards it. Probably somebody like me who was about to find out that she could be the kind of happy she had not even imagined. I felt happy for the happiness she was about to find.

I had called it a night and was making my bed. I hoped to fall asleep and dream about things as wonderful as Yudibu. Instead that night, I had a nightmare. The kind that would take the life out of my breath. I saw that beautiful meadow burn. The grass deducing to ashes. The air filled with smoke. I saw in that nightmare my joy vanish in the air. I woke up, tears in my eyes. Vision blurred. Almost dead, I searched for my cardigan. Fasted it as I rushed down the stairs; lashed open the main door. I ran with my heart in my mouth. I hoped Yudibu was fine. Was still there. I had never been to Yudibu at the night. I ran faster and faster. As I neared, my heartbeat fastened. But it cooled down as I reached. In the calm of the night; under the blanket of a thousand stars; my Yudibu welcomed me. As usual, it greeted me with that breeze. Oh! How my heart bubbled with joy. A warmth rushed down my heart. I wanted to sleep there. Right there. But I knew I couldn’t yet. I breathed in the air at Yudibu. I walked back grinning, knowing that I had found love somewhere. I realized that night that I had Yudibu for life. I had Yudibu always and forever.

But my happy realization ended soon. The next day when I went back, the little girl I had seen, had brought some men; probably one of them was her father. They had cut down the grass. They were digging the soil. I saw Yudibu being destroyed for real. Holding my tears I ran to the men. I asked them what they were doing there. They replied, “Our master’s daughter was a sad child since she was born. But then suddenly she started being a different girl. Always smiling always dancing. One day her daddy asked her what had changed. She brought him to this place and told him she feels happy because of this place. Now our master is building a house here so that he’ll have his daughter’s happiness stay forever. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I could not believe I had lost Yudibu. I decided to meet the girl who would have this place for herself. She was a happy girl. Her eyes glistening. I was not surprised. I asked her to love this place all her life. I could not argue with that pretty thing for Yudibu. With a hurting heart, I kissed her goodbye. She said I should visit her. I knew I wouldn’t. I knew Yudibu would not be the same again. It is then that I realized, I was in love. I loved Yudibu. I loved what it gave me. But Yudibu didn’t speak for me. I walked back to my old life. Still with a little hope somewhere that I would be called back. The wind blew, just like all the other times; brushing the strands of my hair. My eyes shed tears. But just like the first time a smile was born. I knew then that I wasn’t getting the same love back. But Yudibu would have a part of me with it. Always. My memory it cannot erase. I was happy with that. This was how my hidden heart wished to remain.